Title: Prepared Ad Libs - What to Say When the Unexpected Happens ... and it Will!

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Section/SPIG: Health Administration

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Betty Pichon has been a professional speaker for more than 15 years and specializes in speech coaching for individuals who want to learn how to be their best when giving presentations. She has a Home Study Speaking Course that is offered to the public at Speaklikeapro.net.

These ad libs will SAVE you when something goes wrong with your presentation. The lights may go off, the microphone starts squealing, or worse yet, you fall flat on your face... literally.

The best way to get through these situations is with a little humor. Use these specific come-backs to recover with style.

Situation: Your funny story or joke bombs
Responses:

1) "OK ... here's another one you might not care for."

2) "That takes a while to sink in. Around 2 a.m., that's going to seem so funny that you won't be able to go to sleep."

3) "It was funnier last night."

4) "Obviously, you don't know who I think I am."

5) "Bob Parker told me to tell you that. See Bob, I told you it wouldn't work."

Then blame everything you possibly can for the rest of the speech on "Bob." It is a running gag and can be very funny. Funny faces and guilty looks are a must here. It must be acted out. The audience has to know you are making this up or it's not funny.

6) "That was a quote from the great philosopher Yogi Berra, who also said 'Half of baseball is 90 percent mental.' "

Or you can claim it came from the company president. It's a silly thing, but it gets you off the hook and gets them laughing.

7) "Some of you look puzzled. You don't know if I was making a serious point or making fun." ... (long pause) ... "To tell the truth, I don't know either!"

When a joke bombs [and I guarantee 99.9 percent will], always pretend you were serious and making a point.

Situation: You forget your talk or freeze up.
Responses:

1) "I just wanted to pause here in case any of you have lost your place."

2) "My mind is wandering and my tongue is following it."

3) "I seem to have lost my train of thought. Train? It's more like the whole railroad."

4) "Presentations are like freight trains... all of a sudden an empty car goes by."

Situation: You run out of things to say before the time allotted is finished.
Responses:

1) "Well, I gave you a five-minute refund on your investment of time."

2) "Blessed be he who, having nothing to say, refrains from giving wordy evidence of the fact."

Situation: You stumble over the pronunciation of a name or word.
Responses:

1) "I just spent $1,000 on my eyes, and now my mouth's not working."

2) "Sorry, these are rental lips."

3) "Wow, I seem to be rejecting that tongue transplant."

Situation: You Cough, Sneeze, have a hoarse throat or...
Responses:

1) "Please excuse me. I sound like the car I used to drive in high school."

2) "You may have noticed I'm coughing (sneezing, sniffing and so on) a little. Please forgive me, as I am just recovering from the South American Lizard Fever."

3) "I've got to get that fixed."

Situation: You trip and fall.
Responses:

1) "I will now take questions from the floor."

2) "Did you notice graceful wasn't in my introduction?"

3) "I'm a trained professional. Don't try this at home."

4) "Hey, this is an acquired skill..."

Situation: When there are microphone problems with buzzing or squealing.
Responses: (Say in concerned tones while looking to the left)

1) "You know I'm actually starting to like these sounds."

2) "Ok, Microphone, you take the lyrics, I'll take the melody."

3) "Whatever it is, it's getting closer!"

4) "Obviously someone in the control booth has heard me speak."

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